Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Home Sickness, BUT I’m Not Walking This Bridge Alone


I promise that by the end of this blog, you will understand why I choose the title of it; hang in there, I promise it will all come full circle. This past weekend the GAP team had the opportunity to spend four days in the mountains working with two of the local villages there. We did some cleaning projects as well as two children’s programs. The programs were a huge success! I have been involved in programs like this, even when I came to the DR last year, but this was the first time I participated in one that was completely in Spanish; we didn’t use a translator.

After one program I began to speak with a young girl and she shared with me many different things. The whole time I was praying because I wanted to be able to continue to speak to her and understand her. The language kept coming and it was probably the longest conversation I ever had in Spanish. It was great to begin to build relationships with the people, because there is a possibility that we will be able to return to the same villages in the spring. The kids were very receptive to the message we shared with them, and seemed to understand the importance of not putting their joy into to earthly things that can be taken away. As I walked through the poverty, I realized that many of them live in hopeless situations, and this is why the love of Christ is of great importance to them. It was so encouraging to see how God used my teammates to share real joy with these children. We all have different talents, but they came together perfectly, and within that we were able to express genuine love to these people.

This week we have a little bit of a break for Thanksgiving. There are no classes and it is a time to recuperate and refuel; with that comes the realization that I will not be home for Thanksgiving. With that comes some painful memories of an eight year old girl. As many of you know, Thanksgiving is a tough time for my family and I must say that it has been difficult for me to not be with them for the first time since my brother and sister went home to be with Jesus. I’ve cried a lot over the past few weeks. This weekend was good because it took my mind off of things, and when the sadness begins to creep in, I try to think about the weekend and smile because I cannot forget that I am exactly where God wants me.

Well… sometimes I do forget. Sometimes I get tired. I’ve said from the beginning that I want this blog to be a real expression of my time here…the good, the bad, and the ugly. About an hour ago I sat down on the bathroom floor (The only place where I get enough service to Skype) and called my family. It was so nice because my brother, mom, and dad were all home, this has only happened once since I’ve been here. I was so happy to see them all, but we barely got a greeting out and boom, the power goes out. This is not an abnormal event, we lose power all the time, but emotional, homesick Meghan did not want to think rationally. So what do I do? I sat on the floor and cried. Actually, crying might be an understatement, I sobbed. Just picture this for a moment, 6ft 1 Meghan curled up in a ball, crying on the bathroom floor. That was quite a sight for my roommate to see as she walked up the steps. & how does she respond? She sits down on the toilet, rubs my back and just begins to pray, that is exactly what I needed in that moment. I felt alone, but I wasn’t.

Flashback… Sunday morning in the village, it happened. That moment when you do something and think “I would never do this in America!” In order to get to the poorest part of the village, we had to walk across a bridge. This bridge belonged in an Indiana Jones movie or something. It was a swinging bridge, with broken pieces of wood, and it seemed like with every step you took a little bit of a risk. But when I looked in front of me, or behind me, I saw people I loved and that brought me a lot of comfort. It brought me comfort as we swung, back, and forth, suspended over water, that I was not alone. And I’m not alone now. With all these emotions jumbled up inside of me, I’m not alone. I have people here who love me, but even in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep, God is right there. In the darkest of nights, in the deepest of valleys, on the most rickety bridges, God is there. His love is the fuel that keeps me going.

This week, as you reflect on the things you are thankful, be thankful that you’re not alone. Be thankful that God is there and His love is great. Be thankful for the people near and afar. Love a little more. Give a little more. Give thanks.
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

 

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Just One: A Reason to Keep on Going




                We have risen up people in American who are consumed with being the best. If I’m a teacher, I want my students to have the highest test grades. If I’m a musician, I want my band to have the most sold out shows. If I’m a Politician, I will say and do all that I need to, to get the most votes. Even churches are consumed with having the largest congregation.  Some of our dreams for excellence are not bad; they are not all evil or formed with bad intentions, but answer me this… have we lost something in the midst of being consumed with results? Have we looked at certain jobs, tasks, and even people, and laughed simply because they seemed worthless, or below us?

                I came to the Dominican Republic with the hopes of making a visibly large impact. I wanted to leave this program thinking, “Yeah, I rocked that.”  I have quickly come to realization that this is not the case. I have been knocked down and humbled in huge ways, and I’ve never felt… so alive. I’m not alive because I realized that I am unable to save the Dominican, but I’m alive because I have been reminded of two very important things: 1.Every person matters. 2. My strength alone is not enough. I need God’s help in every season.

                I am currently working with 5 students at Emanuel House; 4 boys with their letters, and 1 girl with numbers. All of these children would be in 2nd grade in the states. They are extremely behind grade level due to poverty conditions and possible undiagnosed disabilities.

                I’ve shed a lot of tears in the Dominican. To many of you this isn’t a surprise, when I’m moved by something I cry. I cry mainly for the reason that I am unable to express in words what my heart is feeling.  These can be tears of happiness, as well as tears of sadness. My tears, these past few months, have been for many different reasons, but a few weeks ago I was crying pretty consistently because I felt like there were so many needs around me, and I was unable to meet them.  I came to the Dominican with the American mentality that I knew what was best, and I would fix any problems that came my way. I not only thought in this way, but I was allowing it to define me and my effectiveness here. The tears I cried were of failure. Why did I feel like a failure? Because I lost sight of the importance of life.

                My time here in the Dominican is not defined by numbers. It is not defined by me being “The Best” at what I’m doing. I’m throwing that junk out the window. Just one. If I can help just one child, if I can love just one child, if I can make a difference in just one child’s life, it will all be worth it. The smile I see on Arlenis face when she finally recognized the number 6, the hugs I receive on the playground that last for what seems like hours, because they just don’t want to let go, this just make it’s all worth it. We have no idea how far our actions today will move through the generations. I have no idea how the impact I have on even one child’s life will affect the people, the neighborhoods, and the future of that child’s life. I don’t need a result today. In fact I don’t ever need to see the result.  I can trust and believe that even the smallest bit of light invades the darkness in a fierce way.

                I’m learning another important lesson, and that is that God’s strength is made perfect in my weaknesses. When I get tired, and crabby, He is enough. When I can’t remember how to say something in Espanol, He is enough. Just as one is enough, He is enough to get me through every trial and situation.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
 

Update On the Following Weeks:

-          This weekend I will be staying in a village. Pray that God will work through me and the other three girls who will be staying there!

-          I will be beginning consistent ministry at Josiah’s House (An all boy’s orphanage) Pray that God will give me wisdom as I will be working with a few boys with some behavioral issues.

-          I want to begin teaching English to some of the women who have been rescued from sex trafficking. Pray that I will find time to do this, and do it well.

-          Continue to pray for me at the Emanuel House as I do my best to help my students succeed.

-          Pray for the Dominican as a whole and our team!

-          Thank you all for all of your support! Love ya all!!!

**** Take some time to love and pour into the people in your life. Make a change. Remember every person counts, every person matters.