My Heart Must Be Bigger Than My Emotions

     My heart must be bigger than my temporary emotions. I woke up this morning, and if I am being completely honest, there is a lot on my mind. In 73 days, I will be boarding a plane, and my life will be changed. I have always been the type of girl who liked change, most people are afraid of it, but more times than not I am seeking it out in my life. I want to be better. I want to give more, laugh more, listen more, forgive more, and love more. I know that my time in the Dominican will change me forever and it excites me, but this morning I am facing some fears as well. I like the life I live. I enjoy the feeling of being established and having the comfort of certain people who have known me my entire life. I am realizing that I am being asked to put this comfort aside for a time, and I have no clue as to how long this time will last.
     When I was in the Dominican, I volunteered to share my story with some people in a village, and at an all girls orphanage. I've done this many times, but never in a different culture. Never with people who physically had so little. I was nervous. As I began to talk, I wished that I never would have volunteered. This was way out of my comfort zone.
    I had to continue to remind myself to talk slow and clear so that the translator would be able to accurately relay what I was saying. As I began to share about my brother and sisters death, tears fell. These tears were not a representation of me being sad because of the death of Michelle and Jason, but tears of compassion while I looked into the eyes of the hurting. There were 70+ people there, adults and children, and I was not sure if anything I had to say would ever encourage them. Their gaze was directly on me and I could see the pain. I realized that I was talking to people who had faced trials and pain that I could not even imagine. How would my story ever encourage or help them in anyway?See that's the thing about fear... it lies. If you listen to it long enough, you will mistake it for truth.           When I finished speaking, a woman came to me and said "When you talked, they listened. God is using your story in powerful ways. I see so much strength in you." In that moment I was a little overwhelmed with emotion, because for those few moments, in some small way, I felt the weight of those peoples pain. In the days after, I saw the joy they had, which flowed so naturally from within them. You can live in a dark world, but still have light beaming from the core of who you are.
     I treasure these memories close to my heart. I may have never experienced them, or learned a very important lesson if I allowed my fears to defeat me. My love for people must be bigger than my fears. My dreams must be bigger then the comfort of today. My heart must be bigger than my emotions.
- Meghan