People stop and stare with empty eyes, looking for a word to
brighten their day. Sometimes I feel like I’m just too busy looking down to
notice. Looking down at my phone, looking down to make sure that I don’t trip,
that I don’t get hurt. It’s a metaphor, because to stop, to look up, to speak,
is to be vulnerable. And we all have experienced it too many times to forget
that to be vulnerable, can mean being rejected, or even worse, someone intentionally causing pain in your life.
Today I stopped. I said “God, please use me to encourage
someone today. You’ve encouraged me and I want to encourage others. You were
there when I felt hopeless and gave me a hope that became reality. You were
there when the tears were falling and gave me love. Help me to be real and
respond with words of love when others are real with me.”
My 23 years on this earth have been filled with a whirlwind
of emotions. I’ve experienced what it is like to hold a child shortly after it
has been born; I’ve experienced what it is like to sit next to someone as they
take their last breath. I have seen the strong people in my life fall to their
knees from unbearable pain; I have seen people rise to tackle a mountain and
succeed. I’ve felt heartbreak but I’ve
also been the cause of someone’s heartbreak. Although I have experienced many
things, I am still moved when people are vulnerable with me and share their
story. When people share with me their joys, fears, dreams, and pain, I am
sincerely moved.
It was my first time walking through this village. I could
sense the oppression, I could feel the agony. The homes I saw were made of all different
types of materials that were put together with one purpose, to create some type
of shelter, something that felt safe. Our guide was a woman who had been in the
village for many years, she spoke only Spanish, but loved flowed off of her in
every direction. She had a light about her, although she walked with a burden
for her people, she walked with a confidence that the LORD would heal the
deepest of wounds; the wounds of the heart.
We walked through the village and stopped at house with a
woman and a young boy sitting outside of it.
Our translator interpreted, and my ears began to listen, but my eyes did
not leave the woman who was being comforted by our guide. As I looked into her
eyes I could see she was experiencing loss. My eyes began to swell with tears
because the emotion was tangible to me. It was one of the moments that it seems
like the world stops and all you can feel is right now. The tears fell when our
translator explained that her son was killed by her nephew, who is now in jail.
The pain of a broken family, a hole in the heart that never completely heals on
this side of eternity. The translator then asked “Who will pray for this woman
and her family?” Then I heard someone
say “Meghan”. It was silent for a moment, not because I was afraid to pray, but
because I needed to gain some composure. I breathed slowly and then spoke. The
tears never stopped falling, even with my eyes closed, I could see this woman’s
pain. When I finished praying, I still felt that pain, but I also felt joy.
Over and over again I am learning that two emotions that are polar opposite can
somehow be felt at the same time, and there is always a peace that comes with
that.
Today, I will be aware; aware of others emotions. I will
remind myself over and over again, that it is not about me. I am not the only
one who is hurting. I am not the only one who feels pain. I will share my joy
with others, but I will also share my weaknesses. I will listen to words that
are both spoken, and unspoken. I will encourage until I have nothing left to
give. LORD, give me your strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
James 1:19 "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
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