I don't have all the answers, but that's okay.

     What a day! Today I had the awesome opportunity to share with my church family at theWELL about my trip to the Dominican. For the past few years we have had an I Heart Buffalo series; this is when different people come in and talk to the church about ways to get involved in their local communities, as well as extended communities around the world. It truly was an honor to share.
I shared about my passion for the Dominican as well as my journey to this point in my life. I love to encourage others with my financial experiences because I believe that it really does point to God. I shared with everyone that I had raised all my money, but needed $150 more for my second set of airline tickets in December. During the last song of worship, I sat down and began to pray. I was keenly aware of the blessings in my life and I wanted to thank God for giving me more than I ever deserved, or ever will deserve. I realized that there was someone standing beside me, so I looked up and saw a young boy (around 4) and his father standing by me. The boy extended his arm and I then realized he had money in his hand ($160) that he was giving me. He had a huge smile on his face. To say that this is one of the most precious moments in my life thus far, would be an understatement. I gave him a huge hug and began to cry.
     After the service many more came to me with money, while sharing that they were moved by what I had to say and that they were confident that God would use me on this journey. One woman handed me a $100 bill and with tears in her eyes said that she felt God prodding her to bring cash to church, and she knew it was supposed to be given to me the moment I began to speak. One word to describe my morning... Blessed.
     I do not know how to fully put what I'm feeling right now into words, but that's okay. You see, I've recently had some interesting conversations with people about my faith. One in particular, was difficult. I am not a forcer of my beliefs, I will share in moments of authenticity, but I'm relational to the core, and with that comes a desire to know people in a real way, as well as be known. I don't want to hide who I am. So, when someone asks me about my faith, or even questions me, it doesn't bother me. What is hard, and hurtful, is when someone asks a question but doesn't want to listen to your answer. Their sole purpose is to attack your beliefs. I pray that I never do this. I pray that my eyes will always see a person, with a heart & emotions. I was hurt by this conversation, really hurt.
One of the great things about pain, of any kind, is that it causes you to reflect. I call it a heart check.       
     This morning I realized that I do not have all the answers, and even if I did, they wouldn't be good enough for every person that I meet in this world. I do not understand all the darkness in this world; sometimes I think about it and question where God is in it all. & honestly, I can't answer that question in a way that will please everyone. I will say, that this morning, and everyday if I keep my eyes open, I see beauty in this world. I see the creator writing "I love you Meghan" in a young boy's smile. I hear his voice say "I am here." as I weep over a broken family. As my lungs fill with air, supplying my body with all that it needs, I know with confidence that my times not up on this earth. Even with my last breath, I still want to see beauty, and I still want to believe. There are things that no one can take away from me, no amount of logic can take away those moments of love, and reckless abandonment.
     Today I want to encourage you all to first, be real with yourself; evaluate the places deep in your soul where there is pain & speak it out loud, in that same moment take in the beauty around you. Second, be willing to love on someone who is different from you. Go out of your way and make someone smile. Lastly, pray with expectation... and wait, He will come through.
~Meghan Elizabeth

"In this wasteland that I'm living, there is a crack in the door filled with light, & it's all I need to shine."